


The Morality Of A Horny Seventeen Year Old

by TheAddict4Dramatics



Category: The X-Files
Genre: AU, And still a bit of an asshole, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Family Dynamics, Gen, Horny Teenagers, Parenthood, Will's still around, good dad fox mulder, good mom dana scully, we've all been there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24526645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAddict4Dramatics/pseuds/TheAddict4Dramatics
Summary: “We haven’t raised a misogynist Scully – we’re just the current custodians of a really horny seventeen year old.”Mulder and Scully have raised Will, there's no creepy visions of the end of the world or even creepier smoking man paternity revelations but Will is still a bit of asshole with two girlfriends and Scully has something to say about it.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Kudos: 80





	The Morality Of A Horny Seventeen Year Old

“How can you think that this behaviour is acceptable?” Scully demanded of her teenage son. He was sat opposite her at their kitchen table, Mulder beside them both. Will’s eyes remained fixed on the empty placemat in front of him. He shrugged. “That’s it? That’s all you’ve got to say for yourself?”

“What’s the point? You won’t even try to understand.”

“No believe me I’m trying and failing to understand why you think it’s okay to be cheating on both of your girlfriends.”

“You’re so stuck in the past!” Will defended, finally looking up and meeting her fiery stare. “Things are different now, relationships are different now.”

“So now it’s suddenly acceptable to date multiple people while leading them to believe they’re the only one? It’s okay to repeatedly lie to their faces? Lying is just acceptable now?”

“It is if you’re the President of the United States.” Mulder mumbled without thinking. Both Scully and Will turned to look at him – the later smiling and the former scowling.

“That’s all you’re going to contribute to this conversation?” Scully asked Mulder.

“Yeah Dad come on – you better agree with her quick or she’ll start packing her bags again.”

“That’s enough.” Mulder said at once, his tone completely different to what it had been before. “Go to your room.” But Will only laughed.

“Yeah, I’m not twelve anymore.”

“And yet you still act like it. Go to your room, _now_.”

Mulder sounded stern to the point of intimidating. It was very unlike his usual parenting style. Mulder was the forever good cop – the let’s release rockets in the backyard and stay up late eating sugar on a school night kind of cop. Scully could see his change in tact was effective though. Will huffed and then got up from the table and stormed upstairs.

“He didn’t mean that, he was just lashing out.” Mulder said as soon as Will had left.

“Yeah, well.” Scully suddenly stood and started to pace around the kitchen. “How can he think it is okay to behave the way he is with those girls?”

“Because he’s seventeen.” Mulder said instantly. “He’s not exactly thinking with his head right now… or his conscience for that matter.”

“And that makes it okay?”

“Of course it doesn’t. But he needs to figure that out on his own.”

“So we say and do nothing – which essentially condones the behaviour.” Scully paused. “Maybe you do condone it.” At that Mulder looked up from the table.

“What is that supposed to mean?” When Scully didn’t answer Mulder let out a sigh, trying to keep his frustration from seeping out. “Sorry to shoot down your theory but last time I checked I only have one wife.”

“And in the nineties? In ninety-nine?” Mulder frowned, wracking his brains to try and figure out what she was so cryptically eluding to. Ninety-nine was a long time ago… And suddenly it hit him.

“Oh my god! Are you talking about Diana?” A name that had not been mentioned in god knows how many years. And he hadn’t thought about her either. Perhaps he should have felt guilty about that – after all she had been killed because she’d helped him.

“Old wife meet new wife.” Scully said whilst she brought her hands together to symbolise two sides meeting. “Didn’t you have us both at the same time?” And despite his growing frustration at the direction this conversation was headed he couldn’t help but smile at the innuendo.

“Well first of all I am sure I would remember if I’d ever had the both of you at the same time.” Mulder joked, smiling at his own wit. Scully looked like she wanted to hurt him. It was clearly not the time to make jokes. “I wasn’t with Diana in the late nineties. And I wasn’t with you yet either.”

“So you didn’t sleep with Diana when she came back to the bureau? And you didn’t, at the same time, go and jump off of a warship and proclaim your love for me?”

“So you finally concede that I really did go on an actual warship in 1939 and then jumped off of it and proclaimed my love for you?” Again Mulder teased with an easy light-heartedness but Scully was having none of it.

“You played me and Diana off of each other that whole year. You were an asshole.” She stated plainly. She had a point.

“Yeah I was.” He conceded. “And Will is being an asshole now. That’s my point – everyone is an asshole when it comes to relationships at some point or another, even you.”

“Me? When have I been a two-timing asshole?” She challenged, her eyebrow arched.

“Hmm… gee, I don’t know… say, how was the sex with your married Professor med-student Dana?” Something dangerous flashed in Scully’s eyes.

“That was a low blow.”

“And Diana wasn’t?!” Mulder’s voice, in contrast to Scully’s, was loud and animated but as soon as he had said it he calmed at once. He had no desire to fight with her. “I’m not trying to have a go I’m just saying we all make mistakes. If you had your time again would you act in the same way with Professor what’s-his-name?”

“No. Of course I wouldn’t.” There was a defiance in her tone that challenged him to contradict her and he loved her for it. So much fire.

“No and I wouldn’t either.” Mulder looked at her and they shared a moment full of meaning. It was an apology that had already been made many years previously but perhaps needed re-iterating. “And neither would Will once he figures out he’s being an asshole. But he needs to get there on his own – goading him about it all the time is not going to make him come to the right conclusion any quicker.” Scully gave a deep sigh and Mulder, seizing on the momentary weakening of her defences, opened his arms and pulled her into them. She came easily and sank into his lap.

“So we just do nothing?”

“We make it clear that we disapprove of his actions and then we let it play itself out. With any luck they’ll find out about each other and both dump his ass and teach him a lesson.” Scully laughed, but it was short-lived.

“I’m worried we’ve somehow raised a misogynist.” He shook his head and pressed his face against her arm.

“Do you remember when Will was nine and he got into trouble for fighting with that kid from his class – Josh Smith I think it was. Josh had said that he didn’t believe you could have been a doctor because you were a girl and Will took great offence at that and threw the first punch.”

“That wasn’t funny Mulder.” She tried to sound stern but he could see her lips turning up at the memory.

“No it wasn’t.” Mulder agreed rather unconvincingly. “Though if there was ever a nine year old that deserved a punch it was Josh Smith.”

“Mulder!” She sounded outraged as she smacked him on the arm. He smiled at the irony.

“Anyway, right before we made Will go round to Josh’s house to apologise Will asked me to print out a list of well-known female doctors to give to Josh as part of the apology. He said that way he and Josh would both learn something from the experience.” Scully laughed again, longer this time. “We haven’t raised a misogynist Scully – we’re just the current custodians of a really horny seventeen year old.”

“It’s weird when you’re the sensible, level-headed one.” She joked as she played with the collar of his shirt.

“It’s the pills – I’d highly recommend them.” He joked back and she kissed him softly. A silent apology given and accepted by both of them in turn. “For the record, I slept with Diana once after she came back to the bureau and I’ve pretty much hated myself for it ever since.” Scully frowned, sad that she was still finding out new ways in which he didn’t like himself. “I didn’t love her – not then, not even before when we were married. I thought I did at the time and then I met you and it blew everything else out of the water. I’d never felt anything like that before. Even if it took me far too long to realise what I had.”

Scully smiled at him, her eyes a little watery. This new, healthy, post-separation Mulder that was so much more forthcoming with his feelings really hit her in the gut sometimes. She’d always loved him but nowadays he was just so damn easy to love. 

“While we’re speaking on the record… what I had with Daniel wasn’t a relationship, it was a power play. He saw that I was young enough and naïve enough to control and that’s what he wanted – control in all things. That’s not an excuse for my behaviour but…” She trailed off, unsure of how to finish. Mulder held her a little tighter. “When we first met you wanted me to believe what you believed, you wanted me to be on your side and later on you wanted to protect me, but you’ve never wanted to control me. It’s the only close male-female relationship I’ve ever had where I feel like a total equal.”

“Thank you.” He said seriously to her confession. “And thank you for pretending that I am in any way your equal… in brains or beauty.” He smiled and kissed her shoulder.

“You don’t do too bad you know. In either.”

They kissed again until there was a sudden clearing of a throat behind them. Scully turned in Mulder’s lap to see Will standing at the bottom of the stairs looking sheepish.

“I’m sorry for what I said.” He addressed Scully specifically. “It was out of order.”

“Thank you for apologising.” Scully replied. “And I’m sorry for going on about it. You’re very nearly an adult – it’s your business.”

“Really?” Will asked, sounding very surprised. Mulder was pretty surprised himself.

“Really.”

“But for the record we both think it’s going to blow up in your face and you deserve it to.” Mulder said. “But we’ll be here to pick up the pieces when it does.”

Will stood silently and contemplated that for a moment. He was clearly trying to work out whether he had just been chastised or exonerated, or perhaps somehow both. Mulder hid his smile behind Scully’s shoulder. Eventually Will nodded and headed back upstairs.


End file.
